Home Is Where the Heart Is by Linda Byler

Author:Linda Byler [Byler, Linda]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781680993653
Publisher: Good Books
Published: 2018-04-16T04:00:00+00:00

When the dry late summer air took on the biting cold of autumn, Hannah and Jerry dug the potatoes from an unrelenting, heat-baked garden. Water from the house had been dumped on the potatoes by the bucketful and still it produced only a half-bushel of small, wrinkled potatoes with green tops where the searing sun had discolored them through the thin soil.

Hannah stood in the wind, her scarf tied securely around her head, looking at the potato harvest. She snorted. Picking up her bucket, she flounced off to the house, leaving Jerry to follow, lugging the half-bushel of potatoes.

She slammed plates on the table, scattered knives and forks, thumped down empty water glasses, and sliced bread with a rapid, sawing motion. She heated milk and threw in a couple of eggs. Then she sat, her arms crossed, staring at the floor.

Jerry knew this was not a time for questions. She looked at him, a frank, dark, incomprehensible stare. “What’s the use?” she asked.

“The use?” he answered, dumbly.

“You know what I’m talking about.”

“You mean the potatoes?”

“Of course.” She kept looking at him, fixing him with her dark gaze. The kitchen darkened with her mood, expanding and contracting with unspoken words. The air became heavy with their breathing, the two of them alone with their own thoughts and feelings, unable to break through a barrier of pride.

Finally, Hannah spoke. “I don’t know if I can manage another winter.”

Jerry said nothing.

“I guess you know I’ve changed. The grasshoppers. I can’t even …” Her voice faded, then stilled. “I mean, how many more calamities have to happen before I give up? I can’t take another winter. You’ll ride out to check the cattle and I’ll never know if you’ll return.”

She stopped, her face reddening. “And, I want children. I’ve known since Janie left. I want a whole pile. And I … well, I remember Abby’s impending birth too well. I’m not going to put myself through what my mother went through. I don’t have that kind of faith to believe that God will see me through in this isolated place. With me, you never know what God’s going to unleash. So, I figure, I’m about done.”

“But, I thought you had it all figured out,” Jerry said, so kindly.

“I’m not talking about money, success, or financial security. I’m letting go because I have to. How long does God have to let you know something isn’t right before you finally get it?”

Jerry blinked, shrugging his shoulders. Everything was happening too fast. But then, this was Hannah, so surprises cropped up with no warning.

“I want to go home.” The words were spoken in a flat monotone, as if she was telling herself, first. There was no question at the end, no self-pity. Only her blunt statement.

Bewildered, Jerry raised his shoulders, palms upturned from his outstretched hands. “Home? But what do you consider home?”

“Lancaster County.”

“But …” Jerry was sputtering now, trying to wrap his head around the possibility she had just presented. “You just said recently …”

She cut him off.

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